Partners Without ADHD

by | May 7, 2019

non ADHD partners

We who have ADHD rarely talk about our partners without ADHD.

I get emails as least once per week form women struggling in their relationships.

Each situation is unique, and some of them are quite complex. But when it comes to relationships and ADHD some patterns emerge.

One common issue occurs when the partner without ADHD doesn’t understand what the diagnosis means and cannot offer any level of feedback or support. Or they feel overwhelmed by the needs of the ADHD partner, and feel useless and unable to help.

Alternatively, the non-ADHD partner does not want to understand or feels that any mental health diagnosis is shameful.

Within my community, I’ve been told that many non-ADHD partners actually refuse to attend counseling or acknowledge the diagnosis at all. One member’s husband told her that she could, “see any doctor you want, take medications, I just don’t want to hear about your ADHD stuff.”

My husband is very partnership oriented, and has always been curious and willing to learn.

Apparently, my patient, curious spouse is not the norm.

So many people have asked me about the Hubs and how we keep our relationship strong. He has been featured on my Instagram profile, and I’ve written a couple articles about my thinking around relationships and making a marriage work.

The truth is much simpler (read: not easier) than you might think.

So I gathered questions from some of my community members, and some followers on social media. Then the Hubs sat down with me in my uber professional recording booth in the spare bedroom and answered them.

Some of his answers surprised even me. And he has offered to come back again as needed to discuss “mixed” relationships in the future.

In this episode you will hear:

  • How we met

  • He he discovered I had ADHD

  • The most annoying parts of living with me

  • His thoughts on gender roles in modern marriage/relationships

  • Why seeking mental health treatment should not be shameful

  • Our collective feelings about couples counseling

  • Things he likes best about me

[buzzsprout episode=’2664820′ player=’true’]

Books I recommend for couples when ADHD is a factor in the relationship. NEWSFLASH: ADHD will always be a factor. (Affiliate links. Please see my full disclosure.)

Other titles to check out if you are interested in relationships and marriage.