Life with the ADHD housewife is never dull. I’ll admit that.
But*** I firmly believe that my homemaking skills aren’t much different from my non-ADHD counterparts.
Think about it -Your home looks different when you know nobody is going to see it.
Neurotypical people rush around to get ready for guests, too. So on a Tuesday evening their homes are probably not much better than yours.
There are people who have totally clean and organized homes all the time. But chances are they have help with the cleaning and childcare. I have yet to meet a stay-at-home-mom who can successfully clean, organize, and parent without some level of assistance.
As the current CEO of my house I have done extensive research into the housekeeping habits of my girlfriends. Most of which are not ADHD and also not independently wealthy. Some are consummate homemakers, and some are self-proclaimed slobs.
This is what I have learned:
There is no “normal” when it comes to housekeeping.
So we all need to calm down about it.
I feel so strongly about this I am about to reveal to you what my house actually looks like when nobody is coming to visit.
Life with the ADHD Housewife
The Living Room
I have a pretty large living room, so I need a bunch of furniture to break up the space. I’m in the middle of shopping for new furniture so the major pieces you see here will probably move downstairs to my husband’s bar. (I will spare you pics of the man cave.)
As you can tell there are blankets, toys and various other items strewn about at all times. When someone is coming over I pick all of it up and move it to the office so I can shut the door. Then I promptly forget about it until the next time I walk into the office.
Once a week I run the Roomba to pick up the dog hair and dust on the wood floors. I love my Roomba, it’s worth every penny. (affiliate link. See my full disclosure.)
I only Swiffer or clean the wood floors and the kitchen when someone is coming over. There’s a truth bomb for you!
The Kitchen
Yep, my kitchen counters look like that all the time. We cannot seem to keep them uncluttered.
I do actually clear off the surfaces each night as part of my evening routine.
I like to use Clorox wipes as much as I can. Unfortunately there is a shortage of wipes, AND I was told I cannot use them on my new counters. So I’ve been using plain soap and water most evenings.
Keep it as easy as possible when you’re cleaning your kitchen, otherwise you won’t do it.
I like to keep my sink cleaned out. So I load up the dishwasher each day, or I have my son do it for me. I use scrubbing bubbles to clean it. Not every day, but most days.
My whole kitchen clean up takes less than five minutes.
My Closet and Bedroom
In the interest of maintaining my husband’s privacy I will not show you his parts of the room. This is quite difficult because my stuff has taken over the entire space.
My closet is a small walk in so I do manage to hang up some of my clothing. I recently purchased these organizers and some of these bins (affiliate links) – so we will see how that works out. Denim and pajamas I toss on the floor or at the foot of my bed.
For some reason I hang my bras on hooks. The only time they are not here is when I launder them.
My Bathroom
Again, this post will not include photos of the Hubs or his stuff, so this is the bathroom I share with my ten year-old.
Once per week I vacuum this room because my hair seems to be everywhere. I use the hand vacuum below because it gets in the corners and goes around the toilet better. (affiliate link. See my full disclosure.)
Normally I used my Clorox wipes on everything. During the Pandemic I’ve had to use more cleaning rags and spray cleaner to get the job done.
As the mother of a boy I spend a lot of time cleaning the floor around the bathroom.
Since my son also likes to smear toothpaste over every possible surface I spend an inordinate amount of time scraping that off, too.
What’s the point of this post?
I’m giving you an inside look at life with the ADHD housewife to show you that nobody’s house looks great all the time. Not even your neurotypical friends.
The next time you are invited to someone’s home for a gathering and you walk in and marvel at how clean and organized their home looks, realize that it is all a façade. And then ask for the number of their cleaning person.
Whether you have ADHD or not, homemaking is not exactly exciting. It’s totally mundane.
The mundane tasks of life are the opposite of what our brains really crave.
Erma Bombeck once said:
“My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?”
Housekeeping chores are boring. We crave novelty, excitement, new experiences……DOPAMINE. (Or in my case copious amounts of chocolate.)
There is no normal when it comes to housekeeping.
Relax and enjoy your life. If you work in the home come up with a workable system to get household tasks done. If you work outside the home do the same thing – but either way give yourself some grace.
Next time I want to talk about dividing your house into manageable “domains” so you can come up with a housekeeping plan that works for YOU.
Another article on “normal” homemaking:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/elizabeth-broadbent/what-normal-looks-like_b_6124824.html
Here is a very old video tour of my house!
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